Your running back
was doomed
at birth.

Bucky Irving

RB · Tampa Bay Buccaneers · ♎ Libra

the Moon and Neptune are actively conspiring against his stat line, and the group-chat opinions part of his game is spiritually compromised. Under a new Virgo Moon, a Libra RB negotiates with contact instead of accepting it, so he is scheduled to sulk through two series, then produce one highlight the exact minute you have already benched him next week. Today that curdles into 17 carries for 44 yards and one goal-line vulture from a fullback. The Bucs did not hand him generational wealth for this, yet the stars have already etched it into stone. Todd Bowles is calling this one around Baker Mayfield, in a building defined by a pirate ship that fires a cannon into the emotional stability of visiting secondaries, and he got paid in March and has looked exactly as urgent as a man who got paid in March, so the incentives are already crooked. He will short-arm a route on 4th & 10, then have a 90-second sideline conversation with a position coach who is clearly done with him. The referee crew assigned to this game has flagged his offense more than anyone else in the league, and the boosters of your bank account already know it. If you start him, you will refresh the waiver wire at 11 PM with the shame of a man who knew better.

TRANSLATION: PUT HIM SOMEWHERE YOU CANNOT SEE THE GAME AND APOLOGIZE TO YOUR LEAGUE IN ADVANCE.